Walmartians: 36 weird things seen at Walmart
What is it about airports and Walmarts that bring out the very worst in humanity? We don’t have the answer, but we do have plenty of strange photos of Walmartians in their natural habitat. Read on, if you dare.
Taking a bite out of crime
Something tells me this might not be a real police officer. He’ll arrest you for fake-throwing the ball in a game of fetch. His mission is to have a “paw-sitive” impact on the community.
He can sniff out a criminal from miles away.
Finally, visual confirmation that the furry community polices their own.
Lookin’ like a snack
Check out this dude’s sweet style. All the ladies look at him and lick their lips, and why shouldn’t they? The guy has both of the major food groups fully represented in his apparel.
He only wears this particular outfit during breakfast and lunch hours — once 3 p.m. hits he changes into dinner and dessert wear.
We can only assume he copped this entire ‘fit at Walmart.
How many Ewoks were harmed to make this outfit? You may not like it but this is what Super Saiyan 5 looks like. We actually owe this person a debt of gratitude, without her our streets would be littered with roadkill.
“Yes I’m expecting a money transfer … It should be from a ‘Mr. Bacca.’ That’s ‘Chew Bacca,’ yes. Thanks.”
Get you a car that can do both
*At a car dealership*
Walmart guy: “Hey I need a car and an SUV.”
Car salesman: “I’ve got just the thing.”
Walmart guy: *holding back tears* “It’s p-p-perfect.”
Move over Prius, this is a real hybrid.
It’s not just ugly — it’s horribly impractical too. It’s like someone stacked two cars in a junkyard car-smasher and stopped halfway through.
Cruel and unusual punishment
This dad seems to have taken public shaming to a whole new level. As Marshall Mathers (also known by his stage name, Eminem) once said, “If I’m embarrassing me, then I’m embarrassing you.” We’ll never know for sure, but I’m willing to bet this method of parenting is pretty effective.
This girl will definitely think twice about disobeying her dad next time — she got him angry enough to ruin a perfectly good dress shirt and a pair of jeans.
Then again, this is Walmart, so maybe he doesn’t stand out as much as he thought he would.
It’s a nice day for a … Walmart wedding!
Can you blame this guy? This same wedding costs twice as much at the VONS down the street!
I wonder if he spent the extra bucks on the name-brand wedding ceremony or if this is the Great Value version.
“Attention Walmart shoppers … Here comes the bride!”
It’s gotta be awkward when an acquaintance walks in to do some shopping and realizes they weren’t invited to the wedding.
Honestly, there are just so many questions we could ask, but we’ll settle for one: Why?
Quite the goatee
I’m torn between believing whether this guy is in on the joke, or if someone drew the smiley face without him knowing. Wait, do you think that’s a tattoo?
Based on the woman’s expression on the right, we have to assume she’s seen the back of his head as well. I’m very curious to see whether he styles his facial hair the same way.
Please excuse our “deer” friend
Kris Kringle had to stop in to pick up some last minute gifts and Prancer got off the leash. Or maybe Bambi was just trying to save some doe on some groceries.
He’s knuckin’ and BUCKIN’ and ready to fight!
Seriously though, those employees are standing way too close to that animal — corralling wild beasts is not in the job description.
Check out Lambchop over here. Looks like Falkor from The Neverending Story fell on hard times. That hair looks like what happens when you don’t clean out the cat’s litter box for ages.
Looks like this person is shopping for bug spray, which might be the only thing they can use for shampoo at this point.
What are those?
If there’s one thing we can assure you of — it’s that you have NOT seen these at Foot Locker. These are super duper limited edition kicks — a collaboration between Nike and Planters. Supreme could never.
The factory closed down after they made this one pair. When he wants to wear them to a party he has to call ahead to make sure no one has a peanut allergy. You know what? We shouldn’t joke about this since we did lose Mr. Peanut this year. (Rest in peace.)
Don’t worry, he’s friendly
Though unfortunately, he’s not potty trained.
I’m sick of all these kids always monkeying around in Walmart. Hopefully, this guy keeps his pet well-clear of the produce section or all of the bananas are history.
At least all of the fellow shoppers will have an interesting “tail” to tell. OK, that’s enough. I’ll see myself out.
The Walmart Before Time
You remember that scene at the end of Step Brothers, where the dad tells Dale and Brendan that he wanted to be a dinosaur when he grew up more than anything?
“Don’t lose your dinosaur,” he says. Well, this guy took that advice and ran with it.
Speaking of running with it, let’s move on, shall we?
Give me SPACE
You got it, pal. He must have some serious Rocky Mountain oysters to wear this shirt in public. And he wonders why none of the store clerks want to help him out.
Who knew Colorado’s Libras and Scorpios were so testy. Must be the cold weather. Perhaps the legalization of a certain plant will chill them out going forward.
Ugh, the customer service here STINKS!
Hey, looks like even Pepé le Pew needs office supplies. A skunk’s gotta work, after all. He’s just out foraging for the best deals.
Did you know that skunks in Indonesia are called “stink badgers?” I don’t know where I was going with that, but it’s true.
Anyway, let’s move on.
Check out Lewis and Clark over here, on another expedition to find the best savings on refrigerated snacks. Much like the land west of the Mississippi River in 1803, Walmart is similarly teaming with the unknown.
Looks like Davy Crockett and Jim Bowie survived the Alamo after all. Everything we learned in school was a LIE.
For the ‘gram
Their life may seem glamorous to us average Joes, but Instagram influencers shop at Walmart just like the rest of us. Only difference is, they use it as an opportunity for an impromptu photo shoot.
“Hey babe, help me into this shopping cart and take a picture of me for my Instagram. Engagement was down this week and I need all the likes and comments I can get.”
Walmart Wrestling Federation
Why does this man’s wrestling singlet have a hood? In what situation would that ever be considered practical? “My head gets so cold, but my thighs are always so hot.”
Can’t help but wonder if he added “pants” to his shopping list.
I actually love everything about this picture — from the ridiculous outfit to the subtle disbelief on the employee’s face.
Shoppers overbuy during COVID-19 outbreak
In the wake of the coronavirus outbreak of 2020, shoppers lose their minds and overbuy essential items as if they’re going to be locked in their homes for years. Isn’t it crazy what a little mass-hysteria does to people?
Well now its less than ideal for them because they’re going to be stuck with a surplus of toilet paper that they won’t be able to return and that they won’t get through for years to come. Maybe next time they’ll go into the store with a level head.
Men are dogs
We’ve got a sneaking suspicion that this thing does not have its service animal certification. We hope at least it’s housebroken.
“I wish I could leave him at home, but he tears up the house every time!”
“Sure he barks a lot, but he’s a great guard dog, never runs away, and he’s easily motivated by food. I wish he was friendlier with strangers though.”
Honestly, I don’t have anything negative to say about this picture. This woman has some serious balancing skills. Where do you think she learned to do that?
Who knew Walmart shoppers were so talented?
(Side note: Is that … Batman’s head in that cart?)
Suspend your disbelief
You may laugh, but this guy has so much money in his pockets that this is the only way he can keep his pants up.
It also helps distribute all that weight on his back. Seriously though, why stop at two suspenders if five makes you happy?
I don’t get it — all I see is an empty desk. Wait a minute … There he is!
He’s just out here hunting for the best deals.
“Next in line! Next in line, please! Oops, sorry sir, didn’t see you there.”
Who knows, maybe this style will catch on, and this guy’s just too far ahead of his time.
What kind of dog is this?
I wonder if he’s friendly. So patient and well-behaved. This gives a whole new meaning to the term “zebra crossing.”
“I’m sorry sir, but unless that’s a certified service zebra, they’ll have to wait outside.”
I mean, they have everything else at Walmart, why should we be surprised that they carry zebra food?
Rest and relaxation
Man, shopping can be soo exhausting!
You know, I’ve been tired before, but I can’t say that I’ve ever been this tired.
This does beg an important question, however: What do you think is cleaner, the cart or the ground? At least he’s using his hat to protect himself from the sun. Sun damage is no joke.
‘Sir? … SIR!’
Quit horsin’ around. He’s just trying to wrangle up some good deals. Just out here shopping at the Walmart NEIGHborhood Market.
“Excuse me, what aisle is hay on?”
“Excuse me, but this is my EMOTIONAL SUPPORT horse. He goes wherever I go.”
This proves you really can’t find too many mentally stable people at Walmart. All right, All right, that’s enough.
Slenderman really let himself go
“Yeah I used to scare people, but now I just stay at home and play video games. Do you guys have the new World of Warcraft?”
The good news is that if he chases you, you should be able to get away pretty easily.
“Slenderman … haven’t heard that name in years. Stopped calling me that some time ago.”
“Swamp Thing, you make my heart sing.”
This is what happens when you have to provide cover for a clandestine military operation but you forgot to pick up snacks first.
This dude is rockin’ the Great Value gillie suit.
Honestly, going to Walmart can feel like entering the jungle at times, so maybe he’s just dressed for success. We don’t judge. (Yes we do.)
Punk’s not dead … but maybe it should be
“Listen pal, I don’t go NOWHERE without my ax.”
We’re all tired of the cookie-cutter pop-rock they play through the speakers at the supermarket; luckily, this guy’s here to bring these all-natural organic RIFFS.
For when you need to pick up some shredded beef. God save the meat. Nevermind the broccoli.
Football can’t come back soon enough
“Listen, pal — I don’t need no game to tailgate.”
Look, we all miss football season, but the Walmart parking lot is just as good as the one outside the stadium.
Plus, when you run out of supplies, you don’t have to stop drinking. Just run inside and grab some more Keystone Light. This guy’s years ahead of us, if you ask me.
Necessity is the mother of invention
This guy was SICK of getting pulled over. Unfortunately, he didn’t have enough money to get a replacement headlamp. Thinking quickly, he decided to dig up all the old flashlights he kept in his garage.
Not his brightest idea, but as long as it gets the job done I suppose it’s a success. To me, the funniest part is picturing this guy parking and then having to crouch down and turn off each flashlight individually.
They were on sale!
In terms of all the things on this list, this has to be the least egregious. In fact, I have no problem with this at all, provided that the doggies don’t have an accident where the next shopper winds up putting their produce.
Look at that little one in the center, sleeping peacefully. He’s had a ruff day. I wonder if they know how weird their mom is …
Wet n’ wild in the Walmart parking lot
Sure, Walmart probably sells inflatable pools, but why spend that much when it’s much cheaper to line your truck bed with trash bags and fill it with water?
This seems fairly unsanitary, but we’ve got a feeling that’s the last thing on these guys’ minds. Also, what’s with the guy in the astronaut helmet?
Who are we to judge how someone chooses to celebrate the season? Why leave your Christmas tree at home when you can carry it with you all day on your head. We’re just glad it’s not mistletoe.
Some people decorate their houses for Christmas. Others put on an ugly Christmas sweater. This man puts them all to shame.
Before you ask
This employee deserves to be recognized by Walmart for his efficiency. Thanksgiving is an important time in retail, and any action you can take to get your work done faster is appreciated. Black Friday is coming.
It makes me wonder if other employees ever decided to copy him. What if all the basic Thanksgiving necessities were mapped out this way?
Honestly, this nearly gave me a heart attack. I did NOT expect to run into Cookie Monster’s grandmother at Walmart, but here we are. There must be a rollback on the chocolate chip cookies.
She keeps her shades on because the fluorescent lighting is too much for her eyes.
It seems that Walmart has the best prices anywhere, even on Sesame Street.
Asleep on the job
How does this happen? Did this guy think he could sleep here and not get caught? YOU CAN SEE INSIDE THE CARTS. At least take off the visibility vest!
If he works hard enough to where he needs some rest that badly, perhaps he deserves a raise. Or at least someone should help him out if he’s stuck.
No germs are touching this guy…
In these crazy times, there aren’t necessarily enough masks out there for everyone. So some of us have to resort to whatever we can find laying around the house. In this case, someone caught the moment Trashbag man was checkout out at his local Walmart.
The part that gets us here is that of all bags to cover up with, this guy decided to put an old McDonald’s to-go bag on his head, hoping that would protect him from COVID-19…
Paper or plastic? Plastic every time
Again, most of us are greatly concerned about staying clean, wearing a mask, and even wearing gloves. The question here is, does a plastic bag with obvious openings really do the trick?
Not to mention, breathing directly into a plastic bag is probably a hazard all by itself, let alone the amount of dirty things the bag has already touched from its original use.